It was only last week that I emailed hasbro, the board games company, whilst at work. I was curious to know if the reasoning behind the rule where you role 3 doubles in a row in monopoly and go to jail is because this represents speeding down the streets of London. I did get a courtesy email in reply saying that my email had been forwarded on to the necessary people but since that, nothing which is a shame.
Before that, just after the world cup I emailed the sea life centre in Germany where paul the octopus was being kept. I asked them if I could challenge the psychic cephalopod to a game of heads and tails. All I asked is that I flick a coin 7 times and if the octopus got it correct I would happily admit it was psychic. Unfortunately on that occasion I didn't even get a reply.
So today I got a chance to email a member of my HR team for a genuine reason. The company had put out its quarterly news letter and right at the back there was a competition to guess the weight of a fish caught by a member of the HR team on her recent holiday.
Oh how I excited I was, this would be the most fun I had all day. So as soon as I got back to my computer I searched the internet for a rough estimate at the weight of the fish and then I sent me an email. It read as follows:
"To: 'Pam.Chapman@serco.com'
Subject: Marion has been up to something fishy
I would like to guess the weight of the carp. Using my limited knowledge of the fishing trade I will guess that the fish weighs 26.7lbs.
Thanks for what I think has been a great competition.
Anthony Draper
Super Duper Cleansing Trooper"
Notice my 'hilarious' sign off, again I point out I get bored at work. This though wasn't enough for me and after a long discussion about fish with a colleague of mine we decided that we should include more fish puns in his email. The subject line read "I CARP believe Marion caught such a big fish" again how we laughed but still this wasn't enough for me and so eventually I decided to send the HR department another email to thank them for the great competition:
"To: 'Pam.Chapman@serco.com'
Subject: Fish Competition
The sole porpoise of this email is to thank you for the opportunaty to win the twenty five squid voucher. I have had a whale of a time and I am now breaming with confidence
Bassically that is it, although I am a bit Pirahnoid that you might think my time has been eel spent taking part in this competition.
Best Fishes
Anthony Draper
Super Duper Cleansing Trooper"
I count no less than 10 fishy puns within that email and tomorrow I will see if the HR department within serco enjoy bad humour as much as my colleague and I. If not then well.. who knows.
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It turns out HR do have a sense of humour, who would have thought. They are now my favourite people in the company
To: Draper Anthony
Cc: Marion Eynon
Subject: RE: Fish Competition
We must congratulate you on what a dab hand you are at writing such a brill amount of flounder regarding fish. We just haddock to reply.
You caused a great deal of snorkelling this morning which was like a ray of sunshine but not very tunaful.
Once we winkle out a few of the sprats we will weever our way through the shoals of entries to find the supreme snapper.
Plaice accept our apologies for not roaching your standards but your barbel was well received!
Pam-eel-a and Marlin-ion
from the Hook office