Well lets start this rather pesimistic (but with a small ray of hope) blog with a rather disturbing occurance. Due again to my bastard mates being lazy fucking arseholes who cant be bothered to leave their dull little houses to come to a night of amazing music, I may have encountered a small problem :(. Although hopefully have my own tickets sorted out and 1 mate - there were 3 of my mates, mates who wanted to come. But because of MY other mates delaying tactics, the tickets can no longer be delivered and instead have to be picked up at the KOKO box office. Now that wouldnt necessarily be a problem accept i have to show the card i ordered with when accepting them, and that clearly will show them that I am in fact 17 and thus not allowed into the event. But as I said, hopefully I should be ok due to Cait having extra tickets - so to be brutally honest if they cant get in tough.

But this Blog is not to be about the Yeti performance at KOKO, no no. This is about my life and how the general downward slope of happiness since the peak which I believe occured around the age of 9/10. In school year 4 I was indeed happy most of the time, shyness only effecting conversations with adults and school work easy as pie, twas a brilliant time.

 I was thinking about drawing a graph to illustrate but i thought fuck that, I cant be arsed, so I just ask you to imagine - age 9/10 I am happy as larry but in the years since I have slowly become unhappy until my 17th year. When 16 everything was appearing to be falling to pieces, my shyness being very annoying plus my schoolwork also taking major falls, it felt like everything was just getting worse and worse. BUT - heres where the hope kicks in, since my 17th birthday I have been on the up in terms of my happiness, quite possibly due to the large increase of alcohol in my diet but still, so far, since ive turned 17 Ive been pretty damn fine. Now the hope turns back into severe pesimism, I fear that this unfortunately could just be a 6 month blip in the overall life cycle, this fear is mainly due to the fact that in approximately 2 weeks the results of my AS levels come out, which I am not particularly looking forward to. And my 6th forms tough re-entry process may mean that I could be dropped off my Physics course (that exam was apauling) leaving me studying only 2 full A levels and where would that get me? ahh well. You win some, you lose some.

This Blog was inspired not only by the inpending AS results but the hope bit is more due to a family gathering that I had yesterday - I have this really rich uncle who has a HUGE house in sevenoaks, with a pool an acre of land - 7 sofas (on the ground floor), u get the picture. Anyway, they bore cousins, Lucy who is about 5 months younger than me and Jamie who is 2 weeks older than my sister. Basically we were all great friends when we was little - probably till the age of about 9/10 when they were over we couldnt be seperated, but as time went by, we grew apart and over the last few years whenever in their presence barely mutter a word to them. But yesterday seemed to be the breaking of the ice between cousins, we started chatting more freely again, me and Lucy even joined forces to take the piss out of my sister. Was a good feeling.

Anyway thats it for now - Not long till KOKO and the hopeful success it should be